Tag Archives: reflections

Gladly Crying

As the dream starts in a sequence i recognize
I will take all risks to end it
Asking everything to change
Into another everything…

Distant universe,
Where the rain is warm
And the flame is calm…

Without any reasons you will be gone
And i don’t need to remember
Why i forced you to materialize your art
Your passion…
To win something you already have.
You always have.

It is not like my cloud
Your grey is different
Yours is delightful.
The lightning is shy
Yet brave. But loud enough,
To make me wonder.

And seeing that
I am gladly crying.
My desire gone.
All to fly into that sky…
That is rich and heart.
And limitless…
Never ending promise.

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Kemarin Itu Sudah Lewat

Tulisan ini awalnya dari ingat-ingat tentang waktu di meeting sama salah satu partner kerja, terus salah mikir kalau brand pantai nanas itu sama dengan coconut island. Entah kenapa bisa kepikiran gitu ya. Lucu, tapi bikin mikir…

Kadang aneh yah pikiran manusia, bisa mengkait-kaitkan yang sebenarnya ga berkaitan. Terus jadi masalah deh kalau kita bersikeras kalau itu memang ada kaitannya dan ga sadar-sadar. Terus jadi berdebat sama siapapun itu yang ga kepikiran kenapa kita bisa berpikir ke situ. Padahal sebenarnya ada atau nggak ada kaitannya itu sepenting apa sih? Kadang masalah yang bikin kita berantem itu sebenarnya kayak si pantai nanas dan coconut island itu ga sih? Masalah yang kita ada-adain di pikiran kita. Berantem yang mengada-ada.

Tapi ya itulah manusia ya, kadang lebih mentingin siapa yang benar dan salah daripada… yang lebih penting. Apa sih contohnya yang lebih penting itu? Yah, misalnya buat ketawa bareng karena kesalahpahaman itu. Ya ampun, coba ingat-ingat deh berapa banyak sih masalah yang dulu heboh banget pas kita alamin, eh sekarang kalau diingat-ingat lagi ternyata konyol banget karena ga jelas. Atau ga inget lagi sebenarnya kenapa.

Dari mikirin itu. Jadi kepikiran lagi kalau seminggu yang lalu sempat ada problem sama orang terdekat. Ga jelas masalahnya kalau dipikir-pikir lagi sekarang. Untungnya bisa kembali baikan dan saling coba ngertiin setelah itu lewat. Kalau nggak?

Nah, pernah kepikiran ga sih kalau salah satu kebutuhan dasar kita dalam berhubungan itu adalah “dimengerti”. Terus, sering banget kita marah karena merasa ga dingertiin. Merasa kalau ga dingertiin itu artinya ga disayang. Padahal yang nggak ngerti itu bukan org lain, tapi kita yang ga bisa ngertiin diri sendiri. Merasa orang lain sengaja nyakitin kita atau apalah, tapi emangnya gitu ya? Atau cuma dikait-kaitin aja?

Pertanyaannya lagi, rasa sebelnya itu buat apa sih? Buat nunjukkin kalo kita terluka? Kenapa mau nunjukkin kalo kita terluka? Supaya bisa diobatin, kan? Tapi minta diobatinnya dengan ngelukain orang itu lagi? Lalu yang dilukain mau minta diobatin juga akhirnya? Nah loh, kalau gitu sekarang yang punya obatnya siapa? Orang pertama, orang kedua, dua-duanya? Siapa yang ga ngertiin siapa kalau begini jadinya? Bolak balik terus aja sampe bumi jadi datar kalo ga ada yang mau stop.

Abis itu sok-sok-an deh buat ingat siapa yang mulai permasalahannya. Padahal ingatan manusia itu aneh pake banget. Suka inget hal yang buruk di saat yang baik. Lupa hal baik di saat yang buruk terjadi. Sedih saat kebahagiaan jelas-jelas minta diambil. Atau senang lama-lama mempersulit diri sendiri buat bahagia lagi. Ga mau lupain yang bikin sedih, ga mau ingat yang bikin hepi. Ga ingat kalau kita itu cuma manusia, begitu juga si dia. Lupa kalau sama-sama ga sempurna, makanya harus saling jaga.

Makanya hubungan jadi susah, percintaan, pertemanan, pekerjaan, keluarga, dan sama diri sendiri. Kita suka pertahanin ego, “Ini gua. Lu harus ngerti. Lu harus terima.” Hidup itu singkat, tapi kita rela habisin waktu buat  nunjukkin kalau kita benar, orang lain salah. Daripada buat sadar kalau, “ini kita. Bukan lu atau gua aja.”

Kenapa ya manusia suka sok pake banget. Sok ngerti. Sok bener. Sok paling tahu. Padahal ujung-ujungnya kita ga bakal ngerti semuanya kok. Diri sendiri, orang lain, dunia yang aneh ini. Tapi ga harus ngerti kok buat bisa ketawa bareng. Karena yah balik-balik lagi, kenapa ga ketawa bareng aja sih? Karena ujung-ujungnya, semua yang ada di kemarin itu sudah lewat, pilih-pilih lah yang perlu diingat dan dilupain.

Jadi, udah nentuin siapa yang mau stop duluan sebelum bumi jadi datar?

*Content ini sifatnya sok tahu jadi jangan marah kalau tidak pas
*Tidak merujuk kepada pihak siapapun saat ini, tetapi ke diri sendiri saja
*Hanya ingin berbagi pemikiran siapa tahu berguna

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The Look of It

Life’s a bit unfair, lately…

Or so do I thought.

It is a bit too much of everything.

The crossroads are through,

But not really though.

A little by a little, you started to lose yourself.

Devoured by the rhythm of mistakes,

You never knew would be so cruel.

You lost chances, and your loved ones hurt more.

Life’s a bit pristine, recently…

Or so do some thought.

How should we cope with the guilt of losing the things we lost,

That we don’t own?

As life’s a bit dragging,

You never knew it would be so cruel.

It throws you into regrets,

You blame yourself.

Until you can’t anymore.

But nothing you can feel more or less,

Life’s making you to love yourself less. And less it becomes…

As life’s a bit funny,

The love you get was so much,

Until you realized it,

It has changed a bit much.

Or that’s just the look of it?

 

 

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The Promise

The more you grow up,
the older you get,
the more you will realize that world is such a messed-up cruel place.

It is,
no matter how you deny it,
and the sadder fact is a lot of people adapt to be as cruel and mean,
for survival’s sake.

That’s understandable,
but not exactly how I believe life should work,
so I promise myself, 

“I don’t want to be like the world. I won’t be cruel, and I’ll still survive.”

Because being tender-hearted is not a matter of personality,
it’s pure a choice you make.
A lot of commitment, but worth it.
It doesn’t guarantee that people will give back kindness to you,
but that’s never the point.

It’s pointless,
but that’s exactly what life is all about,
we struggle, we hurt each other,
for what? In the end we’ll all be gone.
And the hurtings will only stain the story.
The story where we all have the same ending.

And that’s why I make the promise,
not to have a better ending.
It’s not changeable,
but the passage, the middle part of life.
That’s what the promise is all about.

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I Learn To See The Big Picture

I learn that sometimes,
I’ve got to see the big picture to understand something better.

And to capture that view,
firstly, I need to pull myself away from that something or someone,
or between, or both.

I learn that being too close to something,
could blind you about what’s really going on and what’s not.

I learn that getting closer doesn’t mean you’ll understand more, or less.
It’s just, that’s not the way things work here.
Proximity isn’t really a factor for intimacy, I guess.

I learn that loving someone, doesn’t always mean you can make him/her happy.

Sometimes, you gotta pull away, pull yourself freaking away and…
see the big picture.

I learn that holding onto your belief could be false too,
the thing you think is right, has a chance to be wrong.
Just because you think something is right, it doesn’t make it right.
Just because you think that the sun is cold, it doesn’t make it cold.
It won’t. The sun’s still igneous.

I learn that feelings are not eternal.
Sometimes you’re sad about something, but you move on.
Sometimes you’re happy about something, but you need to go on.
Sometimes you’re empty, and you need to feel sad or happy.
Sometimes, being sad is better than being empty.

I learn that sometimes, sometimes happens.
There’s always a chance for everything to happen.
That means, there’s also always a chance that nothing will happen.
And when it happens, it happens.
But when it doesn’t, it doesn’t.

I learn that things are going to change,
whether you like it or not,
whether it’s neccessary or not,
whether you realize it or not,
whether you accept it or not.

I learn that I’ll always have something new to learn about.
I learn that what I learn won’t always make me smart,
I learn about inconsistency, cognitive dissonance,
The thing we called “between”.

I learn that when I found myself lost and dumbfounded, sometimes,
what I need to do is to pull myself away.
A moment. Awhile.
To see the big picture…

I learn that in the end,
maybe what I really need to have to survive is…
an understanding,
or at least,
the willing to understand…

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