Tag Archives: psychology

The Paradox of Making Mistake

It is something we can’t avoid, it’s like breathing oxygen to stay alive for mankind. Of course it’s not as often as that activity. Well, in here I’m just trying to emphasize the inevitability of making mistake, or should I write it in plural? Mistakessssssssss…

So, here’s a little story of last night, which brought me to write this post. I was watching The Client, yeah, the one with Susan Sarandon and Tommy Lee Jones in it, a movie released in 1994, a great movie, anyway, in one scene, the bad guy whose name I can’t barely remember said, “This time I won’t make anymore mistake.” to his uncle or so.

There, he was reffering to find the body he secretly buried and couldn’t get rid of because of his ‘mistake’ in the previous scene. So when he said that he won’t make anymore mistake in the context of what he’ll do,

I’ve come to realize about the fact that a mistake is not always a mistake,

sometimes a mistake is a good thing if it uncertainly happens in a certain situation. In this case, if he really makes another mistake, he’ll get caught because of his fault of killing a person and that’s a good thing, right? Otherwise, if he doesn’t make mistake, he’ll be able cover his fault and the police will lose the proof of his killing.

Another case is about the event that a lot of people probably already knew. Yes, I believe we’ve also heard about the story where a person forgot to bring something to his office that made him has to go back home and thankfully made him late to arrive at the office which was bombed or collapsed at the time he supposed to be there in the first time, or the story about a person who missed his flight and luckly survived the plane crash.

Is that still can be considered a mistake?

Is it a mistake if you wake up late to go to school and you survived a bad thing because of that ‘mistake’ of being overslept?

Now, here’s the paradox of making mistake, isn’t it funny if we call something that saved a life as a mistake? I mean, to forgot to bring your passport to the airport and survived a plane crash is not a mistake, but, to forgot to bring a passport to the airport is definitely a mistake, see the twisted part here? It is not right, right? Isn’t it very ambiguous, if you heard someone says,

“I was right because I did that mistake“?

Personally, when I looked back to the mistakes I did in the past. There’re a lot of them I don’t want to change even if I can go back to the past because I know if I didn’t do those, I won’t be where I am and who I am right now, and I don’t want to be anyone else but myself. Now, let’s go back to the first sentence in this paragraph, when I wrote ‘mistakes’ there, I believe you as the reader will refer to bad stuffs, wrong actions, inappropriate decisions, but for me, it was the right thing to do at that time and yes it’s still even though it’s a mistake. Well, I think my whole point here can be summarized by this quote below.

“Failure is the key to success; each mistake teaches us something.” Morihei Ueshiba

In the end, I don’t want to make this post even longer since I’m not good in writing long post. But before, I hope you guys don’t mind sharing your experience about your ‘right-mistake’ here if you have one, I’d love to read it.

Thank you before.

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Paracosm Phenomenon

What if one day you wake up and suddenly find out that the life you used to live, the people you know, the places you’ve ever gone to, the plants you see, the animals you are afraid of, and the sky above you, are just imaginations.

This is the thing that happened to people with the Paracosm Phenomenon, (as i know from reading a book about psychological disorder), well, i always love to learn about psychology. And this one, really attracts me to know it better.

I forgot (and too lazy to google), but i think it can be included in the family tree of Skizofrenia. I’ve never met a person with this disorder, but i think it’s not far different from what had happened to Leonardo in his movie ‘Shutter Island’.

What he thinks is his reality, is actually just an imagination.

Worse than what happened to Leonardo, Paracosm disorder include everything as an imagination, not only people, or memory, but everything. From what i read about it, the sun, the moon, the sea, the matters experienced by people with Paracosm disorder are actually different from reality. It could be that, their yellow is actually another color of purple or green, flowers are actually birds, food are actually not eaten from mouth but ears. I mean, everything the sufferer knows, is in fact not factual, it’s not real.

Isn’t that scary? Or, on the other hand, cool?

Or it can be considered funny, if, in some case, your mother is actually your neighbor, your sister is actually your teacher, your teacher is your lover, your boss is your sandals (i wish)?

Oh gosh, It’s kinda weird. I mean, the disorder, and the way i’m writing it. But, whatever, i’m just going to continue.  But, wait… wait… something has just gotten into my mind, wait… wait… wait! What if, the experience of writing this post in wordpress is actually just an imagination—–my imagination? Okay, i’m twisted, wait, wait, I mean. Oh, just forget it. It’s just me being overthink.

Skip it. Now, another question for this Paracosm Phenomenon is, how could it happen? What’s the cause? Hmmm, in my opinion as a person who love psychological stuff, it could be a self-defense mechanism of avoiding ‘reality’.

Or, maybe, it’s just God—–being creative.

Hmmmm, the last, before i end this post, another thing just come up into my head. What if (again), in fact, when we died, at that same time, we wake up, and find out that we’re just opening a new ‘journey’ into reality. I mean, could it be that

being alive is just an imagination…?

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Survival’s Guilt

All of them died. Died not because of me. I was out to hang out with friends. When i got home, i found my house had burnt down. My whole family couldn’t escape. They were inside and had never got out from the fire. I wasn’t there. The fire did it all until it ended by the rain. It was the thing that killed them, explosion from leaking gas pipe.

It wasn’t because of me. But why i feel so guilty? I survived. They died. It was of fire. I wasn’t there.

My mind had always been engulfed since the tragic occurence. The storm of memories which was mixed of the fire and my family were the very reason of my incapicated logic.

“Why i wasn’t there?” I asked myself in front of the dirty mirror, again and again. The mirror always answers me with the same word of ‘silence’. It was always grey, covered with ashes created by the most remorseful-triggering inferno—–left overs from what it is meant to be regreted.

“Maybe it was actually because of me? What if i were there? Maybe i could sense the fire before it went berserk? If i were there, maybe there would be no fire and no one would die.”

Screw! It was my fault. If i were there, i wouldn’t let it happen. I have a powerful sense of smell. I could have known the gas before it erupted.

It was of fire. And the fire was of me. It was my fault. I got home. My family couldn’t ever welcomed me anymore. I should have got home earlier. Before the fire started. Before my family couldn’t get out from the flames.

It was of me. The leaking gas. The fire. The no escapee. It was of me. It was all my fault.

How could i barely accept the fact that i was the only survivor? Especially after i killed my whole family? How could i live like that?

I am a murderer who murdered people by letting fire burn down my house into painful ashes. Grey. Sad. Feeling-less.

It seems not real. It seems like a fiction. But after awhile i realized it was all truly my fault. If i were at house.

The ashes wouldn’t look so grey…

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Think First or Sense First

Waking up at time i didn’t plan to, checking my schedule and found nothing to do for the last 6 hours have made me come to this weird but interesting question. Actually it’s only about the curiosity of how mind works. To make it short, here’s the crux.

“What comes first, thoughts, or senses?”

To think about it, it’s a pretty ambiguous matter (or is it just me being arse). Well, let’s say we saw the overcast sky and thought it’s going to rain after the ‘seeing’, isn’t it obivous that the sense (of vision) comes first? But, let’s re-think it over, “what made us choose to see the sky in the beginning?”

It’s kinda riddling, isn’t it? So here’s the calculation; 1st, you think you need to find out about the weather for certain purpose. 2nd, after you found something out (which is the fact that the sky is overcast), you began to think that it is going to rain.

So, think (to) sense causes you to think (again).

But, what if this is the case? You are walking across the road,  suddenly someone bumps to you from the back, you react by looking at the person. Here, from the beginning you’ve never thought about the bumping or the person first. It is pure started with the bumping. You sensed the bump, it triggered to the thought of finding out about the bumping or what has happened to your back, or the person.

There, you sense the bump first and  it makes you think

Actually i remember something that is close to explain this question back in my psychology class, i forgot the title of this study and too lazy to google it. All i can remember is this cognitive-affective-conative stages of responses. Simply, the cognitive area consists of knowledge, information and stuffs like that, affective means emotion or feelings, and conative is the behavioral matters. The study basicly implies that people got information (cognitive) first, then the information gathered yields particular emotion (affective) and in the end, using the information or/and emotion, people will act. Interestingly, the study also explains how the action took, then, can give them another experience (cognitive) and make them feel (affective) different emotions, therefore (maybe) they’ll make another action. So it is like a circle that never ends.

But unfortunately, the study didn’t help that much to confirm which begins first, the cognitive area related to thinking or the conative area of action ——— included sensing.

In the end, here i got an easy example to explain how complicated this matter is (in my personal opinion)—– to wake up from sleep. So, waking up is an action (conative), right? But, how does it happen? Do we just suddenly wake up without any reason at all (without those cognitive and affective stages to start with)? Or, something –we don’t know– wakes us up, like a biological alarm or else and without any notice or in a flash that we didn’t realize, we actually had passed those stages?

Then, back to the main question, which do you think is right? We wake up because we think we need to wake up (just like that) or we sense something that wakes us up and think that we shouldn’t continue our sleep anymore? Think first or sense first?

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