Tag Archives: love

You See Through

All this time,

I don’t mind being an ordinary person
Not to stand out among the crowd
and be a party that everyone likes,
I am fine being a nobody
I don’t need to shine bright.

But I wonder if it’s a crime?
When I found you,
I know you’re the one.

Then, I want you to see me
I want to stand out among the crowd
I want you to recognize me
But I’m not a star
I don’t light up in the dark night.
Everyone else is special but me.
How can you see me?

I was desperate for your attention.
Trying everything, keep on failing.
How can I believe it?
Among the sparks around me…
In the end you choose me.
Like I’m number one.

Even when all I had was a heart that’s full for you.
A fool in love that you see through.
This ordinary man who falls and false.

From time to time,
I don’t mind being an ordinary person
Not to stand out among the crowd
and be a party that everyone likes,
I am fine being a nobody
I don’t need to shine bright.
for everyone elses.

But for you,
I want to be extraordinary
Become the special color in your life.

Thank you for choosing me, 
this ordinary man…
And accepting a foolish heart
that is always ready to lose for you.

That you see through.
Is more than enough…

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The Look of It

Life’s a bit unfair, lately…

Or so do I thought.

It is a bit too much of everything.

The crossroads are through,

But not really though.

A little by a little, you started to lose yourself.

Devoured by the rhythm of mistakes,

You never knew would be so cruel.

You lost chances, and your loved ones hurt more.

Life’s a bit pristine, recently…

Or so do some thought.

How should we cope with the guilt of losing the things we lost,

That we don’t own?

As life’s a bit dragging,

You never knew it would be so cruel.

It throws you into regrets,

You blame yourself.

Until you can’t anymore.

But nothing you can feel more or less,

Life’s making you to love yourself less. And less it becomes…

As life’s a bit funny,

The love you get was so much,

Until you realized it,

It has changed a bit much.

Or that’s just the look of it?



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No One Is Sane

could you cover the sky?
As it was born too beyond.
Would you drink the sea till it’s dried dead?
Dare you…? Even to imagine?
And, ought you leave the earth, 
how far could you begone? While alive?

I want…
to put you simply as what they are.
Oh, my heartful universe.
You’re always more, 
and I’m most insatiable, 
About you, everything is vicious gravity.

my forevermore desire.
When you look at me,
Please never bother to question
if I am sane enough to love.


Cause from the sunful start,
to the most lunatic end…
No one is. No one will.


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Final Acts


I said all of those 3 stupid words.

Countless time, but only in my heart. In a torturing silent.

Acting as if they never happened to me.

Hiding behind a stupid fear of being rejected.


But really?

Can’t you see what secrets were kept through my eyes?

That I fall… that I stupidly fall so hard, unpredictably, sincerely?

How my heart beats like crazy when you’re around?

Or when I always steal a glance everytime you’re there?

I never thought I could hold them.

My feelings for you, I thought one day I’d slip and you’d know.

And hell cares what would happen after that.

Nobody cares expect me, right?


But I was wrong. I remained every truth hidden.

I even pulled the best final act before you left.

Sadly, before you never came back.

I smiled and told you everything but the truth.

You never knew. I acted so ridiculously well.


But are you really that blind?

Can’t you see what secrets were kept through my eyes?

That I fall… that I stupidly fall so hard, unpredictably, sincerely.

How my heart beats like crazy when you‘re around?

Or when I always steal a glance everytime you’re there.


And now I regret it, but it’s too late already.

Now what I can do is wishing for the time to turn back.

And that final act was different. But is it possible?

I wish I failed it and I slipped each and every one of my  feelings for you, and you’d know.

And hell cares what would happen after that. Nobody cares expect me, right?


I‘d say those 3 stupid words ’cause they’re what I felt.

I love you, I miss you, I adore you, I want you, I need you,

I love you, I love you, I love you

Countless time, until you understand.

No matter if you reject me later or whatever.

I should have just let you know the truth.

Not acting as if they never happened to me.


Double Intepretation Poem

By: Irwan Juanda

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Conscience Smitten Lovers

Fajeer, that’s his name. Naneesha, that’s hers. Both are in a relationship, but they have their heart on another person. His on her, hers on him. But they respect their relationship. And they don’t know they have feelings on each other. Isn’t it funny?

Stars, ice, darkness.

Distant, frigid, and lost.

Well, I can’t find the right way to describe them. So, it’s better for you to learn by yourself.




“How’s your work?” Asked Naneesha trying to start a talk.

“Well, I thought we’re not going to talk about work here?” Fajeer replied.

“Okay then. Then let me redo that.” She sighed.

“I let you.” A smirk appeared on his tips lips.

“Oh, wow. So now I need your permission for everything?” She tried to sound upset, but she was not, not even one bit.

“You bet! Ha… ha… ha…” Fajeer purposely made a conceited laughter, meant it as a joke.

“Alright then, Your Majesty.” She played with her hair before she said, “So, how’s your… W-O-R-K?”

“Seriously?” Fajeer startled, but kinda liked it.

“Seriously, Faj. I want to know how you’re doing. The last time we met, you have problems with your workmates. I just wanna know, you know, who knows what I can help you with. Right?”

“You know you can. By not asking it.”

“Come on, Faj. I’m concerned about you.”

“No… You. Are. Always. Concerned. About. EVERYTHING!” He emphasized each word he spoke, implied her as being a busybody. Still meant it as a joke.

“Yes, I do.” She threw her face to the other way, and back to her coffee. And to him. And to her toes, trying to cover her heart saying,

‘yes, you are my everything.’

And by the time she made her way back into his eyes, this came out from her mouth, “you have problem with that?”

“Not really. But I have problem with not having problem about it. That’s weird. Unhealthy.”

“Haha. You are right, you should seek help from a psychiatrist.” And the conversation grew by itself.

“Or a shaman.” He added.

“Shaman? Why?”

‘You’ve put a spell on me.’ 

He turned his head and looked to a waiter who was cleaning a table. And to his phone. And to his watch. And by the time he made his way back into her eyes, this came out from his mouth,  “because I believe in magic.”

“Like… Harry Potter?” She onwarded her sit position. Interested in a deeper conversation.

“No. It’s not magic. It’s a novel, and a movie.”

“And a hel-lot of money!”

“Hahaha… that’s so fajeerishly true”

“Wow, sometimes I’m amazed how you’re so great at peacocking yourself. Fajeerishly? You want to get it into the dictionary?”

“And I am amazed of how sometimes you don’t know that your words can sound pretty ambiguos.”

“Ambiguos? Like what?” She didn’t get it.

“You just said that I am ‘peacocking’ myself.”

“What’s wrong with that?”

“You really didn’t get it?”

“I didn’t. Really.”

“Oh well, just forget it.”

“No, tell me.” She got even closer.

At this close distance, the closeness that made him able to smell the scent of her hair, he could see how beautiful her lips are. And how sparkling her eyes are. And how he really is in love with her smile and personality.

And he accidentally became conscience smitten to kiss her.

In that short time lapse, the world stopped, the moon stopped, the galaxy stopped. The universe helped them to lock their lips in eternity. But reality b-r-o-k-e it.

As he gathered his conscious thought to the fact that they are not supposed to be lips locking like that. She did the same too. And silence crept between them. They tried to forget that eternity. But they failed. She failed first. Well, second… because he started it.

“Faj, you know I have feelings for you.”

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to-”

“So, it’s okay if you kiss me.”

“-do it. What?” That wasn’t expected by Fajeer.

“You heard me.”

“No. Don’t say that. We both have someone already. We have to respect our relationship. So, sorry. It was my fault.”

“No. It’s mine too.”

“No. No. It’s mine only.”

“I wore my expensive lipstick.”


“It’s my fault.  My expensive lipstick seduced you.” And she smiled. Tried to kill the awkward atmosphere.

He smiled back. And the awkward atmosphere died. They had to go back to hide their own feelings. They had to let go. And respect the relationship they had…

…though they were actually fake. She wasn’t with someone. He wasn’t either. They faked it. As fake as the entertainment world. All acting and branding. Wait, so why didn’t they speak the truth?

Well, the real life of adults is a total weirdo. Sometimes, you think you’re more attractive to people when you’re already with someone else. Fajeer and Naneesha think the same. They thought, if they didn’t have one, the other won’t actually have feelings for them. Maybe it’s true, maybe it’s false. No one knows.

Maybe, they really had feelings on each other just because there’s a border that didn’t allow them to do so?

Like I said.

Stars, ice, darkness.

Distant, frigid, and lost.

Which one is right? It’s yours to believe in.

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