Tag Archives: features

Why Do We Need To Have Children?

The more I think about it,
the more I believe that what my friend’s said is true and a serious matter to think about.

Why, oh, why in the first place people need to have children?

It’s so selfish, most people say the reason they want to have children is because they want to be taken care of when they are old and senile. So, that means you want children just because you want them to be your ‘servant’ when you’re not capable of taking care of yourself? The second most given reason is, well, “because everyone else does so”, it’s a cycle, to get married – to have children, and so on and so on. But the question is,

“Do you really want to bear a new life into this misreable-constantly corrupting-world just because people told you to do it?”

Some even say they want to have children that can make them proud, to make them happy, to be this or that. Honestly, that’s a problem, because if one day, if your children don’t turn out to be what you’ve always expected them to be,

what will you do?

You are going to change them, do things that’ll make their life even harder? You will, with the rest of the world say cruel things and hope your children to think and feel that it’s for their own good? You will want your children to be obliged to learn things they don’t like, work the job they don’t enjoy, or else? Well, there’re always possibilites right?

And bad things have better chances to happen than the good ones?

So, that’s a real question, why, do you need to have children? You know, life isn’t easy and filled with full happiness all the time. Is it worth it, for the children to suffer all of those compared to your ‘reason of wanting to have children’? It’s important, before you have one, make sure you’ve found the right reason.

And for God’s sake, never, never, in your entire life, to dare to say you want to have children because you want them to payback to you, so they can become what you want them to be, so they can be your friends when you are lonely, because those reasons are super selfish. I am not saying that children aren’t supposed to do so, but in my opinion, it’s not your place to decide, it’s not. If from the beginning you’ve been thinking about those stuffs, for me, it’s the same with,

“I need to have children because they are good investment for my life.”

*Inspired by my (married and not wanting a child) friend: Catherine Kurnia

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When I Shop

When I shop,

I forget my problems, I forget the people who hurt me, I forget the unrequited love that haunts me, I forget the dream I logically know I can’t achieve, I forget that I can’t change those things as I wish for. I forget that I can’t no matter what I try, and thus why, when I can forget them, it is a huge relief.

When I shop,

I feel free and I feel like I’m in control, I can choose things. Yes, I am in control. I know exactly what I can get, what I can’t afford, what I want, and what I don’t. So I won’t be having a false hope, I won’t be hurt by stupid expectations. I know exactly the things I’ll welcome to my life.

When I shop,

I can imagine the future I’ll have with the new things I bought. I can buy my future! How cool is that? How fun is that? I can! I really can! Red, blue, yellow, my life is in my hands. No more stupid boss to tell me which color is the better one. No more rules to tell me which is supposed to be paired with which. I can pay my boss to shut up, I can bribe the rules to adapt with my needs. I can really hold my own future.

Yes, when I shop,

I believe I can! I forget the stuffs I don’t want to do but I still do just because I cannot not to do them. I can have the vacation I want, in time I want to enjoy it. My life is my own.

When I shop,

I see the world and life smiling at me. As if everything is going to be all right. Earthquake won’t even shake my heart, tsunami won’t drown me into the nothingness.

When I shop,

I feel secure. I feel I am in charged for my own life. What I want, what I don’t, what I’ll wear, what I won’t, what I’ll have, what I will not, and so on and so on. Plus, it’s easy, I don’t need to struggle to feel that happy.

When I shop,

I think about it like this. I spent money for the things I am going to have, and they are going to be there, when I am sad and feel lonely. They won’t go away, because they are mine and that’s comforting. I believe I won’t be betrayed, I don’t need to worry if they are going to run away or get out from my life one day. I can keep them as long as I want to.

When I shop,

I remember all of the money I am forced to spend to pay for the things I don’t want to. And I feel like I deserve the contrary. I compare the money I’m going to spend to buying alcohol and drugs. Yes, it’s a better choice.

When I shop,

I feel new. I feel that I can fix my past mistakes, I can throw away the part of me I don’t want to have. I can shape myself to be as good as I wanted to be, to be as happy as I wanted to be.

When I shop,

I feel alive, because I am after something, and I know it’s really there and it’s not just my imagination.

When I shop,

I feel positive, and happily ever after is truly possible.

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The Real Meaning(s) of “I Don’t Know”

How many times have you got confused from getting a response you can’t relate to. Well, if you are smart, you must have known that sometimes an expression does not always stand for its own literal meaning. And that also applies for the “I Don’t Know” thingy, which actually could mean a lot of things.

Look at these questions: “What do you think looks better? The red one or the blue one?”, “Do you know why she keeps flirting with me?”, “Hi, which religion you think is the best?”, “Do you think it’s possible for me to lose 50 pounds in a month?”, “What do you think is happening to my relationship with her mother?”, “I don’t know why people don’t like me, do you?”, and many more. They are the questions we probably often answer with “I don’t know” or so in real and even digital life.

I’ve summarized some real meanings of the usage of “I Don’t Know” and here are some of them:

  • I don’t want to answer because I know you don’t really want to hear it.
  • I am too tired to explain what I have in my mind, it’ll take my time, and I am not having it now.
  • I want to and I have the time to give you the answer, but I am afraid you won’t understand anyway. So, what’s the point?
    It’s going to be a waste of time.
  • I have a very constructive and substantial along with a lot of theories to ellaborate it, but I don’t want to seem to show-off.
    So, I’ll skip.
  • I don’t like you, so, I’m not going to respond to you. Take that, ass!
  • I know you are testing my knowledge, and I hate it to be treated like a school kid, so, whatever!
  • I don’t know what you are really asking about, your question is not understandable.
  • I am not going to give an answer because your question is a trap to open a debate and I am fed up of getting into your
    drama, I had enough!
  • I really don’t know, I don’t have the answer for that.
  • I don’t need to answer that, however, there’s someone else who yearns to answer that for you. I am giving that person the chance.
  • You’ve asked that question again? I’ve answered you countless time. Are you playing with me?
  • Your question is an opening line to converse with me, and I am not in the mood, so I am not going to open the door for you. Sorry.
  • Hey, I’ve got to go now for a more important thing to do. Bye!
  • Oooops, I don’t hear your question, but I don’t want to make you think I am not paying attention.
  • I think you know the answer already.
  • It took me a lot of time to get this answer, so no, I’m not going to make it easy for you. Suffer. Like. Me!
  • I am reading a book, please don’t disturb my concentration.
  • You are not mature enough to recieve the answer I am going to give you.
  • Your question is insulting me, how come you can be so insensitive?
  • I don’t think it’s the right time to talk about this.
  • You didn’t answer my previous question, and now you want me to answer yours?
  • Oh gosh, why everything is should be all about you?
  • I have an opinion, but I know you’ll find it stupid, well, I’ll save myself.
  • Not in any chance I am going to explain that and sound like a nerd.
  • I have explained that over and over again and you still don’t understand, it’s time to shut you up.
  • You’ve never listened to my opinion, and I have had enough of being turned down and rejected. Ciao!

I still have some of them, but too much is not good, so, that’s all I can give you.

Thanks for reading!

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The Familiar Stranger

It was a very common morning. Anonym woke up at 07.15, gathered some spirit before he could actually get up from the bed and thus really awakened at 07.21. First thing he did was to check on his Blackberry to find if there’s important message sent to him. And after that he went downstair and prepared to take his breakfast, but because that day he had none, he took a glass of oatmeals instead.

The next routine was to take a bath. It was his therapy and therefore always took more time than any other activities he does every weekdays. When it was done, he then went out to work, on foot. It took him approximately 5 minutes to reach the spot where he needed to wait for Bemo (a public transportation originated from India, can bring 8 people, three-wheeled and very shaky). Fortunately, that day he needed not to wait too long, before it consumed 5 minutes, the bemo had arrived sound and safe.

Anonym took his step and entered that ‘everyday’ carrier, yeah, very ‘routine’. Like usual, anonym had his mind flying everywhere all the way to his office. But on that day, an almost fallen tree chucked out his mind-journey—–well, that, or what’s the Bemo driver spoke in that scene.

“Scary how a tree could fall down like that, isn’t it?” asked the driver.

“Yeah, it is,” replied anonym.

It was truly near to the end destination of the bemo (before he took another public transportation named Transjakarta) before the driver asked another question.

“So, how is it? Have you got yourself a job already?” The driver probably didn’t know, but that question deeply moved anonym who in that instant also realized that several months ago, it was the same driver who drove him to his job interview before he got the job he was having now.

“Yes, I have.”

“Oh, that’s great!”

“Not really, what’s great is the fact that you by any chance still able to remember me.”

“That’s not something big, i remember all my passengers. And you’re one of them.”

“That’s just…” anonym couldn’t find the right words to express his excitement when he realized more that the shirt he was wearing was the same as what he wore on that day he had his interview.

“I remember everyone, i remember everyone,” he said again, repetitive. Anonym could see his wrinkled face formed a smile. He is friendly and such a nice man, thought anonymous, and he is only become a Bemo driver? That’s so unfair.

Okay, please stop here.” Anonym knew he had arrived to where he needed to take another ride.

“Yes, thank you,” the driver spoke while taking the money anonym gave him.

“See you again,” said anonym tried to be as warm as possible. And separation must occur.

Then, after that, anonym continued his ‘routine’-which on that day felt more different because of the encounter with the driver. All along the way, the thoughts about the driver couldn’t go away from anonym’s mind. All the ‘how could’, ‘why’, ‘what if’, and stuffs played in that small area in his brain. He remembered how he had just had a quarrel with his brother last night over a stupid problem, about how he regreted over the job he choose, about when the last time he had a conversation with a driver, about why God isn’t fair and let nice people on a lower position and rude people to become bosses, about how irrelevant all of his thoughts and the meeting with the driver was. Yeah, all of them. Even, writing it felt so complicated.

But, though it’s weird, it’s true. And even it seemed trivia, on the other side felt so important.

How many percent of chance you can coincidentally meet someone on your way to work, and he is actually the driver of your public transportation, and you are sitting in the front beside him, you found out that he was the same driver you met several months ago on your way to a job interview, you were wearing the same shirt, he remembered you, and after the work is finished, you went home, took another ride, and you meet the same person and feel connected to him?

Coincidental, or, God is trying to tell you something?

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Agnostist: When People Ask About My Religion

Personally, i find it kind of difficult and awkward if people ask about my religion (speaking of which, isn’t it supposed to be something private?) I don’t mind telling others about my religion, but the problem is when they give ‘those’ responses after i said that i considered myself as an agnostist. I’m not that much agnostic, i must say, i don’t really care about breaking or arguing over the reliability of a religion or stuffs, for me it is just as simple as me-myself find it hard to choose between religions since i believe in some parts of some religions. Yeah, I am that kind of—–agnostist.

Here’s my explanation. First, I believe in reincarnation (Buddha), but i also believe in God and heaven (Christian). Second, I can’t choose from between. Third, I can’t make myself to believe that heaven doesn’t exist or reincarnation doesn’t occur. I believe in both, and that complicates everything. Fourth and last, if i said that i’m a Christian, doesn’t that mean i’m denying my Buddhist’s belief? And if i said that i’m a Buddhist, how am I supposed to think that God doesn’t exist. Well, that’s why,,,

I’m an agnostist. Period.

There, then, that should explain the meaning of my agnosticism (most of people usually misintepret it), because another misleading opinion about my ‘religion’ is when people assosiate agnostism with atheism, when, they’re literally and factually not the same.

Here is the main difference: agnotism refers to the belief that a religion might be not 100% right or the holy books should not be considered as a doctrine while atheism is the disbelief of religion, God, and all aspect relevants to the matter.

“Agnotism believes but not completely, Atheism doesn’t believe, completely, in Supreme God”—-this is my opinion about the basic and most understandable difference between both, as an agnostist.

Now, if you have the right answer for me to reply to people when they are having lunch with me and give out the question, “what’s your religion?” please tell me, because until now i haven’t found the most suitable one.

Should it be:

1. I believe in God, but I don’t have a religion

2. I don’t choose a religion

3. I am 50% Christian & the rest is Buddhist

4. I am agnostist (that’s it, and wait for their response)

5. I won’t answer, it’s a private information!

6. The only thing i can say is, i am not an atheist

By the way, what’s your religion? 😛

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