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Who Suffers More?

Once upon a time, there were 2 women, they were at the exact age, the exact physical appearance, they are twins. They both got married at the same age of 23, right after they had finished college. The marriages lasted for the same 20 years. They both had 2 children. They both greatlly love their husbands and families as much. Everything was the same but one,

the way they lost their husbands, it was different.

The first woman, Janet, found her husband had passed away in his room because of a sudden heart attack when she got back from work. She lost him because of death. Right after the event, Janet felt like losing a big part of herself, she couldn’t stop from crying everytime she remembers any memories about him. She missed him a lot, but he had gone for good. There’s nothing else she could do but to suffer from his leaving.

The second woman, Bella, found her husband was having an affair and therefore, after a lot of fights and tears and broken hearting screamings at each other, they both decided to get divorced. Bella’s husband moved to live in another country right after the event, cruelly left Bella and his children. Everyday, after the event, Bella felt depressed, she kept thinking what had gone wrong? What’s wrong with her? Why would he cheat on her? After these 20 years of being together, why? But all those so-many-whys couldn’t be answered. Therefore, she suffered from losing him, of course, in a different way compared to Janet. She lost him because he chose to leave.

So, who suffers more? Janet, who knows her husband (who of course truly love her) is gone because of something he didn’t choose? Or Bella, who knew her husband left on purpose? If you were to choose between those two women, who do you want to be? Janet or Bella? If (only if) you need to suffer from losing someone you truly-really love, if you can choose the ending of your relationship, which one do you think is the worse and which one is the better?

Which one do you think you can cope better and give you less suffering? To lose your partner because of the deathOr to lose your partner because he never really love you?

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Why Do We Need To Have Children?

The more I think about it,
the more I believe that what my friend’s said is true and a serious matter to think about.

Why, oh, why in the first place people need to have children?

It’s so selfish, most people say the reason they want to have children is because they want to be taken care of when they are old and senile. So, that means you want children just because you want them to be your ‘servant’ when you’re not capable of taking care of yourself? The second most given reason is, well, “because everyone else does so”, it’s a cycle, to get married – to have children, and so on and so on. But the question is,

“Do you really want to bear a new life into this misreable-constantly corrupting-world just because people told you to do it?”

Some even say they want to have children that can make them proud, to make them happy, to be this or that. Honestly, that’s a problem, because if one day, if your children don’t turn out to be what you’ve always expected them to be,

what will you do?

You are going to change them, do things that’ll make their life even harder? You will, with the rest of the world say cruel things and hope your children to think and feel that it’s for their own good? You will want your children to be obliged to learn things they don’t like, work the job they don’t enjoy, or else? Well, there’re always possibilites right?

And bad things have better chances to happen than the good ones?

So, that’s a real question, why, do you need to have children? You know, life isn’t easy and filled with full happiness all the time. Is it worth it, for the children to suffer all of those compared to your ‘reason of wanting to have children’? It’s important, before you have one, make sure you’ve found the right reason.

And for God’s sake, never, never, in your entire life, to dare to say you want to have children because you want them to payback to you, so they can become what you want them to be, so they can be your friends when you are lonely, because those reasons are super selfish. I am not saying that children aren’t supposed to do so, but in my opinion, it’s not your place to decide, it’s not. If from the beginning you’ve been thinking about those stuffs, for me, it’s the same with,

“I need to have children because they are good investment for my life.”

*Inspired by my (married and not wanting a child) friend: Catherine Kurnia

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The Real Meaning(s) of “I Don’t Know”

How many times have you got confused from getting a response you can’t relate to. Well, if you are smart, you must have known that sometimes an expression does not always stand for its own literal meaning. And that also applies for the “I Don’t Know” thingy, which actually could mean a lot of things.

Look at these questions: “What do you think looks better? The red one or the blue one?”, “Do you know why she keeps flirting with me?”, “Hi, which religion you think is the best?”, “Do you think it’s possible for me to lose 50 pounds in a month?”, “What do you think is happening to my relationship with her mother?”, “I don’t know why people don’t like me, do you?”, and many more. They are the questions we probably often answer with “I don’t know” or so in real and even digital life.

I’ve summarized some real meanings of the usage of “I Don’t Know” and here are some of them:

  • I don’t want to answer because I know you don’t really want to hear it.
  • I am too tired to explain what I have in my mind, it’ll take my time, and I am not having it now.
  • I want to and I have the time to give you the answer, but I am afraid you won’t understand anyway. So, what’s the point?
    It’s going to be a waste of time.
  • I have a very constructive and substantial along with a lot of theories to ellaborate it, but I don’t want to seem to show-off.
    So, I’ll skip.
  • I don’t like you, so, I’m not going to respond to you. Take that, ass!
  • I know you are testing my knowledge, and I hate it to be treated like a school kid, so, whatever!
  • I don’t know what you are really asking about, your question is not understandable.
  • I am not going to give an answer because your question is a trap to open a debate and I am fed up of getting into your
    drama, I had enough!
  • I really don’t know, I don’t have the answer for that.
  • I don’t need to answer that, however, there’s someone else who yearns to answer that for you. I am giving that person the chance.
  • You’ve asked that question again? I’ve answered you countless time. Are you playing with me?
  • Your question is an opening line to converse with me, and I am not in the mood, so I am not going to open the door for you. Sorry.
  • Hey, I’ve got to go now for a more important thing to do. Bye!
  • Oooops, I don’t hear your question, but I don’t want to make you think I am not paying attention.
  • I think you know the answer already.
  • It took me a lot of time to get this answer, so no, I’m not going to make it easy for you. Suffer. Like. Me!
  • I am reading a book, please don’t disturb my concentration.
  • You are not mature enough to recieve the answer I am going to give you.
  • Your question is insulting me, how come you can be so insensitive?
  • I don’t think it’s the right time to talk about this.
  • You didn’t answer my previous question, and now you want me to answer yours?
  • Oh gosh, why everything is should be all about you?
  • I have an opinion, but I know you’ll find it stupid, well, I’ll save myself.
  • Not in any chance I am going to explain that and sound like a nerd.
  • I have explained that over and over again and you still don’t understand, it’s time to shut you up.
  • You’ve never listened to my opinion, and I have had enough of being turned down and rejected. Ciao!

I still have some of them, but too much is not good, so, that’s all I can give you.

Thanks for reading!

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8 Main Reasons Why I Love Oprah Winfrey

She is the queen of talkshow. She has her own magazine, television network, company, and more. She is successful in the aspects of material and spiritual. She is smart. She is funny. She is genuine. She is influental. She is Oprah Gail Winfrey.

I forgot when is the first time I know her but I remember it probably was because I watched The Oprah Winfrey show when it was aired in my country here in Indonesia (thanks to MetroTv). Ever since then, I always save my time especially on Saturday and Sunday to watch every single of her show: and for me, 90% of her shows are always great to watch.

Some are about very inspiring life stories, educational topics of global issues (that most people usually haven’t realized yet), newest trends of something, medical information (along with Dr. Oz), controversy of something, in-depth interviews with some people about their ‘news’ which have never been discussed yet (or approached from another angle), house make-overs with Nate Berkus, cooking demonstrations with Paula Deen, and yeah, many more.

It’s so sad that she is going to end her show, but for me that’s totally acceptable since it’s been 20 years and in that length of time, I believe it’s super okay if she wants to end it to do something different.

Here, then, as a big fan, I want to share my 8 main reasons why I love, adore, and above all make her my role model:

1. She is very open-minded

I love how she treats and doesn’t judge people (especially minorities) like the homosexuals, secluded religious cults, communities, deviants, or elses. I remember watching one of her interviews with a woman who killed her own parent (family), Oprah doesn’t push her and tell her this and that, all she does is to listen to her story and that’s good, she teaches us to look at something in multi-views. Another one is when there’s an affair of a priest who then get married to a girl and breaking his own oath of not getting married. There’s also an interview with a poligamous family, Oprah doesn’t try to change anything out from them, she listens and tries to understand, something that most people don’t do, right?

2. She is a generous angel

Oprah loves to help people. Giving surprises to a mother whose life is so horrible. Paying scholarships for those in needs. She encourages people to Give Big. She gives a car to every audience in her studio in one of her show. She builds houses for certain people who really need them. She gives educations to people in the third-world such as South Africa and actively fights against AIDS, slavery, discrimination, and poverty. Most of all she gathers people to help each others and that’s very great. She has donated millions of dollars to various charities and organizations, with most of her money going to three foundations: The Angel Network, The Oprah Winfrey Foundation, and The Oprah Winfrey Operating Foundation. She builds Katrina homes, The Oprah Winfrey Academy for Girls, and many many many more. Not to mention about her rebuilding the Gulf Coast. It is said that she has donated 1 billion dollars to charity, and I believe the amount will keep increasing.

3. She is an animal-lover

Especially for dogs. Yeah, she is. Here I have a prove of her love for animals:

“Winfrey was named as the 2008 Person of the Year by animal-rights group People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals PETA for using her fame and listening audience to help the less fortunate, including animals. PETA praised Winfrey for using her talk show to uncover horrific cases of cruelty to animals in puppy mills and on factory farms, and Winfrey even used the show to highlight the cruelty-free vegan diet that she tried.”

Courtesy of Wikipedia

This shows that she cares about living creatures and actually even the non-living things such as environment. I love to think that she’s very responsible to everything outside of her which she is related to, she gratitudes life.

4. She has sense of humor

I remember watching her shows and in certain episodes I laughed because of her jokes. Sometimes she looks at her old self and says something funny about it. She makes funny expressions. She is just adorable. If you don’t trust me, check here: http://www.oprah.com/oprahshow/Dr-Oz-and-Oprahs-Funniest-Moments-Video

5. She loves books

Yeah! Oprah Book Club is the prove. She recommends books, great books in fact. I love people who love books. Period. And, uh, in her very busy life, she still has time to read books, isn’t that’s something? Oh and not to forget when she’s having a interview with J.K. Rowling, I mean, 2 of my most favorite people gathers and the things they are talking about are wonderful and very mind-opening. About coping with ambitions, wait,wait, this shouldn’t be here… okay, cut it.

6. She is a great teacher

Like i said on number 5, her shows are mind-opening. I love her tips. I love the information she gives. I frankly feel smarter just by watching her shows. I obtain may information about health, relationship, world issue, technology, food, fashion, lifestyle, psychology, place, people, I mean, almost everything. Above all, Oprah teaches love and understanding. Oh my God, i really sounded like her fanatic fan.

7. She has a lot of friends

From actress, doctors, jurnalits, writers, singers, businessman, she has it all. I love to see her interacting with her friends, making jokes, talking about their habits, being silly to each other. I don’t know, I might sound weird but that makes her natural and friendly.

8. She makes great quotes

It’s her wisdom words. Most and I think almost all of them are very deep and meaningful. Here are one of them:

“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.”

There, I think I have mentioned my 8 main reasons why I love Oprah Winfrey. This’s all I need to and can say. “Love you, Oprah.”

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The Familiar Stranger

It was a very common morning. Anonym woke up at 07.15, gathered some spirit before he could actually get up from the bed and thus really awakened at 07.21. First thing he did was to check on his Blackberry to find if there’s important message sent to him. And after that he went downstair and prepared to take his breakfast, but because that day he had none, he took a glass of oatmeals instead.

The next routine was to take a bath. It was his therapy and therefore always took more time than any other activities he does every weekdays. When it was done, he then went out to work, on foot. It took him approximately 5 minutes to reach the spot where he needed to wait for Bemo (a public transportation originated from India, can bring 8 people, three-wheeled and very shaky). Fortunately, that day he needed not to wait too long, before it consumed 5 minutes, the bemo had arrived sound and safe.

Anonym took his step and entered that ‘everyday’ carrier, yeah, very ‘routine’. Like usual, anonym had his mind flying everywhere all the way to his office. But on that day, an almost fallen tree chucked out his mind-journey—–well, that, or what’s the Bemo driver spoke in that scene.

“Scary how a tree could fall down like that, isn’t it?” asked the driver.

“Yeah, it is,” replied anonym.

It was truly near to the end destination of the bemo (before he took another public transportation named Transjakarta) before the driver asked another question.

“So, how is it? Have you got yourself a job already?” The driver probably didn’t know, but that question deeply moved anonym who in that instant also realized that several months ago, it was the same driver who drove him to his job interview before he got the job he was having now.

“Yes, I have.”

“Oh, that’s great!”

“Not really, what’s great is the fact that you by any chance still able to remember me.”

“That’s not something big, i remember all my passengers. And you’re one of them.”

“That’s just…” anonym couldn’t find the right words to express his excitement when he realized more that the shirt he was wearing was the same as what he wore on that day he had his interview.

“I remember everyone, i remember everyone,” he said again, repetitive. Anonym could see his wrinkled face formed a smile. He is friendly and such a nice man, thought anonymous, and he is only become a Bemo driver? That’s so unfair.

Okay, please stop here.” Anonym knew he had arrived to where he needed to take another ride.

“Yes, thank you,” the driver spoke while taking the money anonym gave him.

“See you again,” said anonym tried to be as warm as possible. And separation must occur.

Then, after that, anonym continued his ‘routine’-which on that day felt more different because of the encounter with the driver. All along the way, the thoughts about the driver couldn’t go away from anonym’s mind. All the ‘how could’, ‘why’, ‘what if’, and stuffs played in that small area in his brain. He remembered how he had just had a quarrel with his brother last night over a stupid problem, about how he regreted over the job he choose, about when the last time he had a conversation with a driver, about why God isn’t fair and let nice people on a lower position and rude people to become bosses, about how irrelevant all of his thoughts and the meeting with the driver was. Yeah, all of them. Even, writing it felt so complicated.

But, though it’s weird, it’s true. And even it seemed trivia, on the other side felt so important.

How many percent of chance you can coincidentally meet someone on your way to work, and he is actually the driver of your public transportation, and you are sitting in the front beside him, you found out that he was the same driver you met several months ago on your way to a job interview, you were wearing the same shirt, he remembered you, and after the work is finished, you went home, took another ride, and you meet the same person and feel connected to him?

Coincidental, or, God is trying to tell you something?

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