Last Night’s Dream

***

Last night I had this dream of you.
You were here, in my house. Out of sudden.
I was in shock, but a positive one.
Because that meant I had a chance.
Would you stay?
Could you tell me why?
Should I ask?
I was perplexed. I was thrilled.

My family seemed to like you.
Really, I knew it’s just a dream.
And, for God dammit.
I’ve never had any crush to show up in my dream.
Why you did it?
And why now?
After these broken 4 months?
Was it because the tv show I watched?
Or the movie I caught?
Walking Dead and The Cabin In The Woods?
No way, they’re irrelevant.

And in my dream we conversed.
I forgot what’s it all about.
But I bet it’s good, because I believe you choose to stay.
Here, with me.
Which meant you left your 3-year-old-relationship with your current boyfriend.
Yeah, I know I’m a dirty bitchy mistress.
I wish your relationship breaks, even in my dream.
I hate myself for that. I know it’s wrong, but what can I do?
I cut and destroyed every connection with you.
But, see? You showed up in my dream.

I can’t deny how much I like it, to hear your voice.
In my dream, for crying out loud.
Even though it’s just in my sleep.
And I wonder why can’t someone else be more like you.
Make me mad like you did.
Someone available.
So I won’t be the evil third person here, or there, or between.

I dreamt of you.
And I wickedly wish that dream could come true.
I am sorry, but I like you that much.

Dammit, I wish liking you is just a dream too.
So, I could just wake up, and I’ll find myself sane again. Not like this.

And now, I don’t know which dream I want to wish to come true anymore.
Dammit, you even made my dream complicated.
No wonder my real world turned upside down when I met you.

The dream. You. Me.
Dammit.
Everything just… feels so surreal now.

***

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2 thoughts on “Last Night’s Dream

  1. Sherly Juwinda says:

    I always love whatever u write 🙂

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