I walk, slower than i used to do. Three steps for six seconds, then sixty will make it thirty. I look at my wrist, as if i am wearing a watch. There, i couldn’t find my comfort timezone anymore. Something is lost, i wonder what is it, but i’m sure it’s not the watch (even though i realize it’s not there). I look at the sky, the sun and the cloud also aren’t there. I shake my head until i see stars. I wish i am wishing, but i am not. I am only drizzling.
Therefore, i managed to let myself accept the reality.
Nothing has lost. The fact only shows that everything is changing. Time has polished each of the flings. North to South, East acrosses West. Couldn’t believe i’ll find the most steady yet firm people have melted down. And that’s why i walk slower.
Understandable, in their most readable ambition. Questionable, in their most inhumane desire. The past reminds me about how i always wanted to be like some of those heels walking on the fragile glass. Cracks that are widening each step it took. The future asks me questions, whether i’ll be able to live the life i wished for, or i’ll just follow and join in the worst community that will guarantee my survival—–that forest of teeth and nails.
In my slow walk, after i make my six hundred and third step, I meet my old self when i’m trying to cross the bridge of lost empathy, i stop myself and examine closer. I changed, better in some aspects, worse in others. Dooh-doooh, still couldn’t believe myself. How can time change all sides of dimension in discreet? Inside, outside, beside,
how can time never changes itself?
Yeah, that’s why i walk slower. I know i’ll be left behind. I know I won’t be able to follow the pace of the competitive world. I know, i always know, but i have my own thought. Sorry, but i’ll choose to walk slower.
If i walk slower, i’ll stay longer, and if people want to find me, they’ll just go back to my last resort and i’ll still be there, right?