For the recent 2 weeks, i feel like God has been testing me for a ‘decision-making’ course. All of the ‘problems’ i’ve been having were dilemmatic, very very confusing, and i think the final test was what he gave me yesterday.
Here’s the crux, i’ve been accepted to work at a company and will start working in December. And suddenly, this company that i applied and interviewed for about almost 2 months ago, (and not to mention that i also fond with) called me and said that i’m going to have a final interview today at 10. It’s totally not easy.
Both companies are giving their own pluses & minuses and the positions i’m going to have were almost the same, both are my passion: one as a copywriter (which i’ve been yearning since forever)-i’ve learned all about it by myself-and that’s just like my dream job. And the other was as a social media & creative writer, which i think i’d love to do either.
I don’t know, seriously, the whole yesterday, i kept thinking about whether will i come to the final interview or not, i could negotiate for higher salary, i could prevent myself to take that ‘dangerous’ public transportation (it is called ‘metromini’) everyday to work, even though the office will be around 30 minutes further than the other one, i remember they told me there will be compensations which are not provided by the first company.
But, but, but, i then started to think, even if it will be better and stuff and stuff, is it going to be polite, or ethical, or else, if i suddenly call the first company (i haven’t signed the contract, but still, we’ve shaken hands) and tell that i’m not going to work there, just 2 days before the H-day?
Seriously, how’s that going to sound? How’s my image will look like? I’m going to seem to be a person whose words can’t be trusted and you know—–irresponsible?
So here’s what i did (just now), i called the company which asked me for the final interview and told about what’s the reason i couldn’t take that ‘seriously-lovely’ opportunity given to me. I talked about how i loved and very grateful to be given such opportunity and feel very sorry that i need to turn it down since i have to keep my words to the first company.
I hope i made the right decision.
Oh, gosh, i still couldn’t stop thinking about it. I’m so afraid of making the wrong decisions and there’s no clue about which was right. God, you are very amazing, just a single pitch and you make my world. You and your pop-quiz, please spare me, i’m not that smart to understand but you know what, yes, i’ll take responsibility for my own decisions.
I turned this one down, and in 2 days i’m going to start working for the first company. Just please, don’t let something bad happen to me. I’ve prepared for everything.
Ouch, this post now turned to be so personal and trivia, damn, damn, damn, okay, stop it. Inhale, exhale. Well, now i just hope that if something’s not right happened and there’s no ‘spark’ between me and the first company, i just wish that the opportunity will still be open for me in the future.
God & His pop-quiz, well, i’m almost an agnostist,
but, still, “Amen!”