If You’re My Alphabets

Amazing how you never realized how much you mean for me.

Be like who you are and who you are not, I couldn’t ask for more or less.

Consider this a lie, but if you’re a sin, you’re worth the hell.

Do not ever fear the feelings I have for you, trust me…

Even if you don’t feel the same about me, I don’t mind.

Fly, because I will never cage you down.

Go wherever you wish for, whenever you feel like it.

Hopefully, someone on your side, has a deeper heart for you.

If you’re my alphabets,

Just to make sure you know, they’re never enough to express all I have for you

Killer of my pride and dignity,

Love is not what I feel about you.

Much more than just love, much much more than just love.

Needless to say, you’re always more than anything I could ever define.

Of your good side, of your bad side, over all of that,

Please, if I give you a cold shoulder, understand that sometimes it hurts.

Questioning my own senses and logics, or…

Raving about how I like you and hate you at the same time.

Stay sane, is not as easy as it sounds anymore.

There are times I secretly push you away so I can breath.

Utter essence of what makes me happy and sad,

Very deadly,

Well, this is not like finding out the value of

in mathematics.

Yonder, is how I am, when trying to leave you, it is like being constantly decreased until reaching…

Zero.

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The Promise

The more you grow up,
the older you get,
the more you will realize that world is such a messed-up cruel place.

It is,
no matter how you deny it,
and the sadder fact is a lot of people adapt to be as cruel and mean,
for survival’s sake.

That’s understandable,
but not exactly how I believe life should work,
so I promise myself, 

“I don’t want to be like the world. I won’t be cruel, and I’ll still survive.”

Because being tender-hearted is not a matter of personality,
it’s pure a choice you make.
A lot of commitment, but worth it.
It doesn’t guarantee that people will give back kindness to you,
but that’s never the point.

It’s pointless,
but that’s exactly what life is all about,
we struggle, we hurt each other,
for what? In the end we’ll all be gone.
And the hurtings will only stain the story.
The story where we all have the same ending.

And that’s why I make the promise,
not to have a better ending.
It’s not changeable,
but the passage, the middle part of life.
That’s what the promise is all about.

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Between

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When you want to be a good person
for some people,
but that means you’re a bad person
for others.

Like, at times it is right to do wrong things
and doing the right thing is actually…
wrong.

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And most of the time you are both at once,
bad and good, right and wrong.
And you love yourself and don’t
because of what you do and don’t.
And you try, not to try too much.
Because you know the result is always both.

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But that’s life, it’s always… that deadly.
And in the end, no one really knows themselves.
But how come they think they know others better?
And the world spins,
but it ends there… and there too,
it starts again.

*

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Wolf Cigar

I was dancing

without the music set on

come shine rational

smoky lights!

Let no sound, no voice

no rules tell us how we move

only lips, of yours

and between mine

enjoying a wolf cigar

because when the end comes

isn’t this what we want to scream

by our heart?

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I was howling

watchout!

I summon my pack of wild ones

it’ll be wicked

amongst who we are and were

werewolves.

Under a calling moon

becoming what we may be

respected for our own skin

and freedom.

*

Image courtesy: Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind

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Tame Me With Poems

Oh..

how in unwell state my heart is,

burdened with feelings I least wish to feel.

Betrayed by self-ful ego I’d rather slay.

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Told you times, tame me with poems

when I beserk in thoughtless angst

while I yearn for what’s not mine.

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Write me ridiculous passage,

of how you’d like me served,

of course… to stay me preserved

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You know I lost myself from time to time

then if I went wild, tame me with poems.

Do whatever rhym you’d like me to dance to,

no matter how frozen my attire is,

it’d warm me up.

Melt me down,

too a shape you’d like to wear.

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